I’m Kristen — wife, mom of three girls, and someone learning to live with mental illness one day at a time. Reclaiming Kristen is where I share my journey: the hard days, the healing days, and the small moments that remind me I’m still growing.

If you’re a woman or a mom navigating your own mental health, I hope you find comfort, connection, and a reminder that your story matters here.

My Testimony

This is my own mental health testimony. I’m sharing this to shine a light on mental health and people that battle with their mental health.

I’m a healthy, 34-year-old mom of three and I struggle with my mental health.

I used to be very selective about who I shared that information with but honestly, why? Fear of judgement? Fear of being gossiped about? There’s not any good reason for me to be so embarrassed about what I’ve been through. If anything, I should feel pride because it is not for the weak.

 In the past two months I’ve been through a world wind of changes due to my mental health. My grandma lives with us in a house we bought back in November because her health is getting worse, and in late May she started having adverse mental issues that led to Kyle and I chasing her on foot around town to try and keep her safe and healthy. Her doctor assumes she struggles with undiagnosed bi-polar because it’s highly genetic.

The stress of chasing my grandma and worrying about my grandma started to weigh on me mentally. I could tell I was starting to feel more on edge and worried and I was having trouble sleeping and calming down. During this time, I was in therapy weekly and had even requested extra sessions because I could tell I needed them. I was going to Yoga on Wednesdays to try to ground myself. I was even taking cold showers, but nothing calmed my brain down.  I was waking Kyle up for days and telling him that I couldn’t sleep. I would cry and beg for relief, but none came. Every small thing in my life leading up to my mental break was weighing on my back like bricks and it was crashing my mental health without me even knowing it.

At the very beginning of June, I had to ask to work from home because I’d been out late the evening before chasing my grandma and begging her to chill out. When work didn’t reply in an understanding way (my opinion) the spiral began. I worried sick about work and about not being seen and not being able to perform. I quit my job over it. That crushed me.

After that loss and the stress of it I completely lost myself. I hadn’t slept for numerous days but didn’t need it. I felt like I’d been shot with adrenalin.  My brain wasn’t mine anymore. I saw my very best friend on a Friday night, and she could tell I wasn’t myself. My husband started noticing me doing things he’d never seen before. I told him on Friday night that I had a feeling that my dad (has been deceased since 2015) was wanting me to know that the following day was going to be an important day and that Kyle needed to be ready for it.

Saturday came and I started feeling like I had superpowers. I had a heightened sense of awareness. I even told someone I felt their loved one talking to me (shout out Josh R for being a good sport). I started saying I felt my dad with me. I was actively talking to my dad for the majority of the day genuinely believing he was there with me in my mind. My dad stayed with me for a long time until Kyle finally said I needed to go to the ER. By the time Kyle told me that I was already mentally gone. I thought nothing was real and who cares? I’ll go to the ER. They can’t do anything to me anyway. I’d been begging them to help my grandma for days and they said can’t force anyone. There’s NO WAY they’d be able to pink slip me.

Going into the ER I acted very uncaring. I told Kyle nothing matters as I ran in the middle of Columbus Avenue. Nothing in life matters anyway! I checked in at the front desk and told them I was fine, my husband just wanted me to be seen. I was arguing with the staff about why I needed a hospital gown when out of nowhere my best friend walked in the door with her husband. She hadn’t even talked to me but had checked my location and knew I wasn’t okay. That’s a friend. She stayed with me the whole time I was there, even using the bathroom with me per my request. The 3 of them finally talked me into letting doctors treat me and once I felt safe with their love and acceptance I was looked at. I woke up in an ambulance and was sent to a mental health facility where I found out I have Bi-Polar I disorder. I spent three days there and it changed my entire outlook on mental health and wellness.  Immense stress spiraled me into mania, and eventually a full psychosis, but a new diagnosis and medication plan have brought me back to life. This is not something that I will get over anytime soon, but I’m working on it every single day.

Like you read in the beginning, I was doing EVERYTHING RIGHT. I was being seen by a psychiatrist for anxiety/depression/ADHD, I was being seen by counselors for my trauma, and I was medicated. I was exercising and being thoughtful about what I put in my body. It doesn’t matter because mental health issues don’t discriminate. I struggle a little every single day but it is getting better. Please treat everyone that you know with kindness and dignity because you have no clue what someone’s going through behind closed doors. You have no idea what monsters some of us face every day. Life is so short, and can be so hard, let’s love each other more. If you are struggling with your own mental health, please get help. I promise it’s not as scary as it sounds and it’s life changing.